For a bookworm, not much is worse than reading a book that completely disappoints you. That was What the Heart Wants for me. Audrey Carlan's novel had such promise and it ended up letting me down in all sorts of ways.
Here's the synopsis:
“Fly free.”I really don't like it when I don't like a book. I like to think I'm pretty good at figuring out which stories I'll like and which I won't, which is why I'm usually super duper positive with my reviews. It's because I've chosen carefully. But this one? So many problems. I didn't like the characters very much, the writing wasn't great, the sex scenes were beyond cheesy and terrible, and I can't quite get over the fact that it was a white woman writing a Native American character (I know she had sensitivity readers but I would have much rather read a romance from an Indigenous author than this).
For ten years those words, written on pink parchment paper in her mother’s beautiful handwriting, have been Suda Kaye Ross’s guiding star. Every year on her birthday, Suda Kaye opens another of the letters her mother penned before she passed, heeding the advice inside as she fills her life with experiences. From Italy to Australia, from Rio to Russia, she’s slaked her wanderlust. And then, on her twenty-eighth birthday, she opens the letter that sends her home.
Returning to Colorado means confronting everything—and everyone—she left behind, including her cherished sister, Evie, and her first love, Camden Bryant. Suda Kaye and Cam spent four years and one unforgettable night together. Given the way she ran out on him, it’s no surprise that he’s wary, resentful…and engaged to someone else. Evie, hardworking and überresponsible, just wants her sister to put down roots at last.
For Evie’s sake, and her own, Suda Kaye is trying to build a new life, all the while wondering whether it’s too late to come back home—or if the most important part of her never really left.
I think Carlan wanted Suda Kaye to be super sex positive and comfortable with her body and her sexual encounters during her travels. It doesn't quite work. She still gets slut shamed and sometimes it came across as bragging instead of matter of fact explanations of what she was up to. It didn't help that her sister seemed so offended.
Everyone does stupid shit at 18 but I feel like, no matter how hurt you were or how much hurt you inflicted, at almost 30 you should be able to have an adult conversation about what happened. Sure, it'll be uncomfortable but let's maybe find out what the other person was thinking before judging them and flying off the handle in a professional environment? Camden for sure had a right to be hurt and I don't blame him for being upset but he was such a jealous prick to start - when he was ENGAGED to someone else. I just couldn't deal with his alpha male BS.
What the Heart Wants had promise and I can appreciate what Audrey Carlan was trying to do but it fell flat for me and I have no desire to read the rest of the books in the series.
*An egalley of this novel was provided by the publisher, Harlequin, in exchange for review consideration. All opinions are honest and my own.*
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