Review: Learned by Heart

Emma Donoghue is a masterful writer so it’s always a treat to read her novels. Learned by Heart is her latest and features the life of a young Annie Lister as she comes of age at an English boarding school at the age of fourteen. It was well written and full of emotions but I have to say (though it pains me to do so), I’m not entirely sure if I, well, liked it? Let’s dive into trying to determine why that is, shall we?

Here’s the book’s description:

In 1805 fourteen-year-old Eliza Raine is a school girl at the Manor School for Young Ladies in York. The daughter of an Indian mother and a British father, Eliza was banished to this unfamiliar country as a little girl. When she first stepped off the King George in Kent, Eliza was accompanied by her older sister, Jane, but now she boards alone at the Manor, with no one left to claim her. She spends her days avoiding the attention of her fellow pupils until, one day, a fearless and charismatic new student arrives at the school. The two girls are immediately thrown together and soon Eliza’s life is turned inside out by this strange and curious young woman.

The first thing I struggled with was wondering if I was the book’s intended audience and whether or not that actually mattered (spoiler: no, I don't think it really does). You see, I didn’t really know who Annie Lister was. All I knew was that she was, somehow, a known and important figure in queer history. Because of my lack of knowledge, I wasn’t really sure of the reason behind the novel but I knew enough to know she was someone of importance. I try to go into books without much knowledge sometimes because I want the author’s point of view to educate me and then I’ll read more afterwards. In this case, I wish I had read Donoghue’s notes at the beginning of the novel instead of at the end, where they’re printed. It seems that Lister and her history are a bit of a pet project of Donoghue’s, someone she’s been interested in for many years and finally had the opportunity to write about. I respect that so much - that she was so interested that she wanted to write something for all of us to enjoy and learn from. I want to learn more about the histories that have been hidden from us - which is why I wonder if it matters that I’m a straight woman reading about queer characters. It honestly doesn’t - I know this - and I want to learn more but I just can’t help feeling that I lacked something going into this book. It’s the strangest feeling and one that I'm uncomfortable having because I think it's coming from a place of...well, we know that most books and histories have been told from a heterosexual perspective, which is the perspective I live my life from as a straight person. It's not that I can't read books from different perspectives, it's more that I think this book is especially for the folks that haven't seen enough of these stories from their perspective and my feelings, quite frankly, don't matter. Which, you know, I'm good with. But the overactive brain just can't shut off when pondering this story!

I can tell (after reading the notes at the end of the book) why Donoghue chose to set the book when she did. It’s partially because of new research about Eliza Raines, which is interesting to consider. If Donoghue had written a novel about Lister years ago when she first had a seed of an idea, it would have looked very different than it does in 2023. First, the world has now been able to watch Gentleman Jack which is about Lister (I haven’t yet but it’s on my very long to be watched list) and that’s shown there's an appetite for these stories that have never been told before and absolutely should be. Second, more information has come to light about Eliza and the role she may have played in Lister’s early life. The novel alternates between chapters taking place in 1805 and 1806 when the girls are in school and letters from Eliza to Lister in 1815. The letter chapters are shorter but are quite unsettling. You see, Eliza is in a mental institution at this time and it’s clear she’s struggling. They’re not easy chapters to read but they’re so well done. (And if you’ve read Room you know how well Donoghue can take unsettling topics and write the hell out of them.)

The last thing I want to touch on that has had my brain running in circles is the age of the girls. You’ll notice I’ve called them girls numerous times (and I’ll add a caveat here that it could be possible, again I don’t have all the information, that Lister may not have identified as a female but I’m going to keep using the female pronouns here). That’s because they were. They were fourteen and fifteen while they were at school, and they and their fellow students were just starting to grow into the adults they’d (hopefully) become. But, to me, they’re still kids. And I know kids of fourteen and fifteen are having sex and this was the 1800s when I’m sure there were teen girls being married off far too young. But my modern sensibilities couldn’t shake the fact that I was reading about underage girls having their sexual awakening. Is that prudish of me? Am I the weird one for finding that odd to read? And this has, of course, nothing to do with the fact that they were two girls. I would have been equally weirded out if it were two boys or a boy and a girl at the same age. It’s been a huge struggle to wrap my head around and work through.

Even though it may seem like I didn’t like Emma Donoghue’s latest book, that’s not strictly accurate. I did like Learned by Heart and it is such a well-written and well-told story that it still lives in my head, weeks after reading it. Donoghue is so unbelievably talented. This is a book that I’m desperate to talk to others about so if you’ve read it, find me on Instagram @kaleys23 and let’s talk!

*An egalley of this novel was provided by the publisher, HarperCollins Canada, via NetGalley in exchange for review consideration. All opinions are honest and my own.*