Review: After

I have been struggling with what to write about Anna Todd's After since I read it back in February. On the one hand, I couldn't put it down. On the other, it features one of the most messed up love stories I've ever read. Conflicted, I am.

Here's the synopsis:

Tessa is a good girl with a sweet, reliable boyfriend back home. She’s got direction, ambition, and a mother who’s intent on keeping her that way.
But she’s barely moved into her freshman dorm when she runs into Hardin. With his tousled brown hair, cocky British accent, tattoos, and lip ring, Hardin is cute and different from what she’s used to.
But he’s also rude—to the point of cruelty, even. For all his attitude, Tessa should hate Hardin. And she does—until she finds herself alone with him in his room. Something about his dark mood grabs her, and when they kiss it ignites within her a passion she’s never known before.
He’ll call her beautiful, then insist he isn't the one for her and disappear again and again. Despite the reckless way he treats her, Tessa is compelled to dig deeper and find the real Hardin beneath all his lies. He pushes her away again and again, yet every time she pushes back, he only pulls her in deeper.
Tessa already has the perfect boyfriend. So why is she trying so hard to overcome her own hurt pride and Hardin’s prejudice about nice girls like her?
Unless…could this be love?
There was the time before Tessa met Hardin, and then there’s everything AFTER ... Life will never be the same.

Before I dive into the review, I will confirm that yes, this is the One Direction fanfiction book that was published on Wattpad. I don't know much about One Direction (and knew even less when I read the book, which was pre-Zayn leaving the band...and yes, I did have to Google his name to make sure I spelled it correctly) but I like to bop along to their music when it comes on the radio. So, the fact that Todd wrote this series with the band in mind played no part in my decision to read it. I was drawn in based on the synopsis alone.

I am completely over the "good girl meets total badass" storyline in New Adult. Just done. I probably wouldn't have minded too much with this one if it hadn't seemed like Tessa was totally abandoning who she was pre-Hardin. College is a time of discovering yourself, yes, but there are still some qualities that are quite defined by the time you turn 18. Not being treated like shit by someone is one of those qualities and I couldn't believe that Tessa was allowing Hardin to treat her like he was.

*breathes*

Ok. That was the major issue for me with this book. Hardin is awful to Tessa. And I really don't think I had a problem with it simply because I'm almost ten years older than these characters (good lord, has it really been almost ten years since I started university?). I can understand that Hardin has some serious issues. That's ok. But that is absolutely no excuse for being an asshole towards the girl you want to date. He's crazy jealous which is stupid because he also sometimes acts like he wants nothing to do with her in public. Or even in private sometimes. There were times he almost redeemed himself because I could see that he kinda sorta wanted to try to be a better person. But then he'd screw up again. And he screwed up big time at the end. I really couldn't believe how awful he was. It's mind boggling.

And yet...

And yet, I couldn't put the damn book down. There was something addictive about it. And I don't think it was the good kind of addictive. I imagine the pull I felt towards this book was similar to the feeling drug addicts have when they're looking for their next hit. Seriously. I know it wasn't really good (PS the writing in this one isn't super great either) but something kept pulling me back in.

Part of me wants to read the rest of the series to see if Hardin gets his act together and if Tessa grows a backbone. But the other part of me cannot bear to read any more about this unhealthy relationship.

So...do I think you should read After? Not really. Anna Todd came up with an intriguing idea, One Direction fanfiction, but she also came up with one of the most unhealthy romantic relationships ever. At the risk of sounding old and overprotective of teens, this is not a book you want your teenage daughter, friend, niece, whatever to be reading. I do not want girls of any age thinking that she can change the guy she's dating, not when he continually treats her like crap. And, ok, fine, I probably would read After I Collided, book two in the series, if it fell into my lap. I just can't look away.

*A copy of this novel was provided by the publisher, Simon & Schuster Canada, in exchange for review consideration. All opinions are honest and my own.*

Review: Fangirl

I knew I was going to like Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell because so many others had gushed over it (including my friend and fellow blogger Natalie at Browsing Bookshelves) and I adored Eleanor & Park . Guys. I adored Fangirl. I picked it up from the library, went home, and didn't put it down until I finished it. So. Freaking. Good. So good, in fact, that Natalie and I will be venturing to Toronto on Monday to see Rowell AND we'll both be buying a copy even though we've both already read it. That's a good book, my friends.

Here's the synopsis:

Cath is a Simon Snow fan.
Okay, the whole world is a Simon Snow fan . . .
But for Cath, being a fan is her life — and she’s really good at it. She and her twin sister, Wren, ensconced themselves in the Simon Snow series when they were just kids; it’s what got them through their mother leaving.
Reading. Rereading. Hanging out in Simon Snow forums, writing Simon Snow fan fiction, dressing up like the characters for every movie premiere.
Cath’s sister has mostly grown away from fandom, but Cath can’t let go. She doesn’t want to.
Now that they’re going to college, Wren has told Cath she doesn’t want to be roommates. Cath is on her own, completely outside of her comfort zone. She’s got a surly roommate with a charming, always-around boyfriend, a fiction-writing professor who thinks fan fiction is the end of the civilized world, a handsome classmate who only wants to talk about words . . . And she can’t stop worrying about her dad, who’s loving and fragile and has never really been alone.
For Cath, the question is: Can she do this?
Can she make it without Wren holding her hand? Is she ready to start living her own life? Writing her own stories?
And does she even want to move on if it means leaving Simon Snow behind?

I totally identified with Cath. I think any introvert can, really. Like Cath, I found university to be a terrifying concept. Luckily for me, my "twin" (aka my best friend, Sandy) didn't ditch me and we did room together. Potentially embarrassing fact: I also totally and completely understood Cath's aversion to the dining hall. I did know where mine was but I was so unsure of what to do that I usually just ate at one of the fast food places or made something in our kitchen. Thinking back, it seems really silly but for someone who hates change as much as Cath (and, ok, me), college and all the newness it brings, is scary. Rowell really allowed that to come out through her writing in a believable way.

And Reagan, Cath's roommate? Oh my goodness, I loved that girl. She was hilarious! I think she was the perfect person to confront Cath about her fear of, well, everything new and to bring her out of her shell. I think what really made it work was not only her abrasive personality (deep down she really does care) but also that she was a couple of years older. Personality-wise, I pictured her as Janis from Mean Girls. I love the scenes in the dining hall where they mock...er...observe other students. In one scene, the girls are talking about a girl who wears a wolf tail. Cath remarks that she kind of likes the tail and Reagan's response had me laughing out loud (I'll clean it up a bit for you!):

"If God put me into your life to keep you from wearing a f*cking tail, I accept the assignment." (page 47)

I thought the story was a great one. I can't remember reading something like this before, something that features such real characters and scenarios. Many serious issues are touched on but they're not overblown nor are they angsty like so many other YA novels. There are various mental and emotional issues as well as the "normal" craziness that comes from being in your first real relationship and going away to school. It's a tough world out there but Rowell shows you, through her characters and this story, that you can get through anything if you have the right people (friends, family, and professionals) around you.

I also really liked the "fangirl" aspect of the book. Fanfiction and fandoms are not only becoming more common but also, I think, more acceptable, more mainstream. I really liked that there were excerpts from the "real" Simon Snow novels as well as from Cath's fanfiction. It helped bring her story to life even more, I think. In fact, I actually wish it was a real story! It seemed like it'd be a really cool mix of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.

Fangirl is an amazing novel. I loved reading it. I loved that I was halfway through the book and so much had happened but I knew I still had so much more to read. I was invested in the characters and their lives and while I wanted to see how things worked out for them, I didn't want it to end. That, in my opinion, is a sign of a great read. If you like YA, read this. If you like fanfiction/fandoms, read this. If you just like a really great story, read this. I cannot wait to read Rainbow Rowell's next novel, Landline (info found here on her site) - another adult book!

Happy reading :)